Saturday, February 7, 2015

The Un-Invites



I think I have uncovered a trend. Un-Inviting people. Friends invite you for dinner and then they call and cancel because …… Maybe it is just cancelling or postponing, but it feels more like un-inviting to me.

I realize everyone leads busy lives but it is dinner, not attempting to cure cancer! The un-invites have become so frequent I have become very aggressive by saying I am putting it on my calendar now and I will be at your door at this date and time! Or I am not putting it on my calendar because you will cancel so firm up with me as the date nears!

When I ask people over for a dinner party I give the date and the time. I think about the guests I am inviting so everyone gets along. If some one can’t make it I don’t cancel the dinner party, it just becomes a smaller group.

If a significant other is not available I do not welcome a plus one unknown stand-in because I think about the dynamics of the group of guests I invited.  Now maybe I know your friend or sister or neighbor that you want to bring as your plus one because your significant other is out of town, but please ask me, don’t just show up at the door. I may have prepared something special for your significant other and had I known I would not have gone to the trouble!

Let’s face it sometimes you have a lousy few days going and you realize you have a dinner party scheduled. It is something to look forward to and helps getting past the crummy days. Then, WHAM, you are uninvited. You didn’t prepare anything for dinner and the party was going to be your highlight of the week!  Grrr.


Am I the only one experiencing this un-inviting trend? Vent here and tell me how you handle it!

15 comments:

Unknown said...

Oh dear! No, I haven't had this happen much, but I can imagine it must be very frustrating.

Carol Cassara said...

How rude! Let's hope that there was a good reason and not just a whim.

Haralee said...

Hmmm Karen, maybe it is my friends?

Haralee said...

Thank-you Carol. I think it rude but it is a trend. When a friend brought her sister instead of her partner saying, "Isn't it funny that Jill has never been to your home before?" My answer is no because I never invited her but here she is a plus one!

Sharon Greenthal said...

That's awful. I haven't had that happen to me, though I have moved my book group from home to a restaurant when half the people couldn't show.

Haralee said...

Interesting Sharon about the book club. Maybe it really is just my friends and not a trend!!

Lisa at Grandma's Briefs said...

I've not experienced this with friends, but it's very much a trend with extended family—mostly in the sense of folks not showing up when I invite them. Follow through and commitment has gone out the window with nary a thought of consideration. Quite frustrating.

Haralee said...

Yes Lisa it is frustrating with family which I too have experienced but this situation I have with friends is driving me crazy!

b+ (Retire In Style Blog) said...

First of all I so over menopause! Having said that I don't think I have ever been "un-invited" unless the hostess or her family is very ill. A party with only 2 or 3 people can be just a much fun as one for show with 12 people invited. I'm just saying!

Haralee said...

I know Barbara, illness is one thing but this is different. It is last minute rescheduling or cancelling!

My New Happy said...

I have also experienced a little of this "un-inviting" and I agree, it's very frustrating. I think we live in such a casual society, so people don't realize how rude it is when they change plans at the last minute.

Haralee said...

I agree Lana. With people forgetting to RSVP I shouldn't be surprised with un-invites, but like you say it is frustrating!

Karen @Baking In A Tornado said...

I've never had it happen myself (or not yet anyway) but I think if someone were rude enough to do that to me, I might stoop to their level and be rude enough to tell them what I think of the situation.

Haralee said...

IT is interesting and I agree rude!

The Business of Fashion said...

We must should get sometime specially for dinner when we some one invite us even we much busy with essay writing online. because if some one inviting us, it is the proof that he/she love us and want to spend their some time with us so we also try to care them.