Childhood friendships
Teenage romances
College experiences
First jobs
First marriages
Long-term relationships
Motherhood
Divorce
Career advancements
Second marriages
Death of parents
Midlife career changes
Midlife life changes
Grand parenthood
Health issues
Death of friends
Terminal diagnosis
Preparing for death
All of us go through many of
these stages in some sort of order.
We all hope to outlive our
parents and our children outlive us. Sadly sometimes this doesn’t happen.
We hope to be ready for the
stages of our lives but sometimes we have to adjust. Sometimes a stage that
should be decades away pops up sooner.
When my Mother was in her mid
80’s she stopped going to funerals. So many friends were dying she could go to
a funeral every week and understandably it was depressing her. My Dad who died
at 86 outlived many of his friends and played golf with his “B” friends because
all his “A” golf buddies were dead.
I assumed I would approach
similar situations decades from now.
Unfortunately I have had friends and
family out of sequence become ill and die.
My heart is heavy. Is it just that
life happens? What philosophy do you use to cope with a change in the stages in
life?
14 comments:
I try to remember my own spiritual beliefs that death to this life is part of it but it's not death at all...there is life after this life and my loved one is going on to wonders I can only imagine. That's what I try to do. But I miss them and grieve for myself.
Carol
Thanks Carol for that lovely thought!
My heart goes out to you, Haralee. The beginning of this post seemed like a jaunty poem, a fitting phrasing for National Poetry Month. It's so much more than that, though. Poetic just the same.
Getting older can stink at times, especially if our loved ones and "A" people don't age right along with us.
Trite but true, I try to just be thankful I'm still kicking about. Every day. And remembering those who once kicked about with me.
Thank-you Lisa, well said!
It is hard tipo grapple with death, especially if it strikes randomly or too soon. Hugs to you, Haralee.
Thanks Helene. I think the randomness is tough!
It is tough to deal with! My husband lost his sister last January to lung cancer, his mother in March to diabetes and then in July his 41 year old brother died of throat cancer the same week one of my oldest friends committed suicide all while becoming a caregiver to my mom who is suffering from Alzheimer's! It was a very depressing year for us but you just have to hold your head up and keep going on but it's really tough sometimes.
Rena, OH My you have had a bad patch! Thanks for the encouragement since you totally understand!
There is an order to the universe. And when that order goes awry, we are left in a confused, shifting and unpredictable place. I fall back to my beliefs. I firmly believe in a hereafter and I picture my loved ones there. It really helps!
Thanks Diane for your kind comments.
Hi Haralee! We are all so different how we answer the question. I can say that because I have three sisters and every one of us handled the passing of our parents in four different ways. For me it is very helpful to remember that life is eternal and that even when we leave this place we go onward to another place....sort of like the movie Phenomenon with John Travolta where he tells the young boy, "Everything is on it's way to somewhere."
Thanks Kathy for your comments. I remember John Travolta's movie when he was an Angel, Michael!
As for Lisa, your post has such layers, Haralee. When I started reading I was in my head. Yeah, that's how it happens -- all theoretical.
But as I got toward the end my heart was engaged, too. It became real and personal to me. Life is full of gains...and losses. I wish for a graceful heart as I experience both.
That is so lovely Lori," A graceful heart"! Thanks
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