A Profound Difference Between Men and Women, (according to my unscientific research)

  

Here is the scenario:

You are preparing some food item and you are out of a needed ingredient. You are home from work and you have changed into comfy clothes.

Here is the question:

Do you get dressed and head off to the store?

Here are the answers from some of my 50+ women friends:

1    1.    NO. I have changed into comfy clothes; I’d make something else.
2.    Maybe if I didn’t take my make-up off yet.
3.    Did I take my bra off? If I did, no way!
4.    If it is winter and I can throw on a coat.
5.    Of course not. Go out that time of day after working all day? I would be too tired by the time I got back home to make anything!

Here are answers from some 50+ men friends:

1    1.    Sure
2.    Yes
3.    I’d pick up something else too

Notice the men do not have any hesitations about changing back into clothes, underwear, makeup, and time of day or season.

I asked some women in their 20’s and 30’s the same question. Their answers were more like the men, unless they had small children, than the 50+ year-old women! So what happened? Here are my conclusions:

1    1.    At 50+ we women know the one time we rush to the market without make-up wearing a baseball hat is the time we bump into several people we haven’t seen in a long time!
2.    We 50+ women don’t have the extra energy.
3.    Men at 50+ don’t’ care what they look like if they meet someone. In fact they might go out for a beer. Women would rather cut off their arm!
4.    Men think it will just take less than a half-hour so what is the big deal?
5.    Young women look good with little effort, and have more energy than their 50+ counterparts!

Tell me your answer. Do you concur or not?

Menopause Barbie Turns 53

The Barbie doll turned 53 the beginning of March this year. Barbie is truly in midlife and should be menopausal. I will be the first to admit she looks not a day older than she did 53 years ago! How does she do it?

Here are my ideas:

Lasik

You don’t see Barbie sporting glasses unless they are glamorous sunglasses

Botox/Skin Treatments

Not a line or wrinkle on her face

Various lifts

No saggy boobs or butt or batwing arms. In fact she is as firm and uplifted as a teenager

Signature Hairstyle

Some celebrities are just known for their hairstyles

Good Life

Although Barbie has had jobs from being an astronaut to a nurse/doctor/teacher, I think she has been living off a generous trust fund or showed great business acumen 50 years ago when she trademarked, branded and licensed herself.

Good Family Life

Ken is a doll

So what lessons can we all learn from midlife Barbie?

Barbie has never been Addict Barbie, Bankrupt Barbie, Divorced Barbie, Menopause Barbie, Hot Flash Barbie or Unemployed Barbie. Remember she is a doll, we can not even try to compete with the B**ch

Since we are not dolls, No 53-year-old woman can wear high heels nonstop even at the beach

Good thing Barbie is a doll because all the time she spends in the sun she must use great sunscreen

Barbie’s blonde hair in the sun at age 53 would look brassy and dry if not managed well by frequent hairstylist visits, along with the use of quality products

Her glamorous jobs, means and measures to keep her figure and image, lifestyle of houses and cars can only be attributed to her licensing and business savvy, her trust fund or maybe Ken. Who knew Ken could be a Sugar Daddy? Speaking of Ken, he has not let himself go, that doll!

The Elderly Parent

Many women in mid life are at the top of their career ladder, or getting ready to retire or have retired and their kids are gone and out of the home. Plans are changed because Mom and/or Dad, or your mother-in-law/father-in law, needs your help. If you don’t live close to the aging parent what do you do?  Some have moved Mom or Dad closer to them. Many elderly move into an assisted living facility, others move in with their kids. But as the age and health issues continue, helping takes on a more active role in the life of the middle age woman. The popular lexicon name is the “Sandwich” generation.  You understand, you just finished raising your kids into hopefully functional adults and now you are parenting again but this time it is your ‘parent’.

Along with being elderly come many physical issues and mental issues. Whether it is a mobility problem, hearing problem, vision problem or mental problem, the bottom line is that your parent is not the strong, vital person they once were. You are now that person and the parent child relationship has reversed. The financial responsibilities can be overwhelming.

My Mother moved into an assisted care facility 4 years ago. She recently moved onto the ‘Memory’ floor. My Mother had the income to afford the facility she wanted. It is a beautiful place with wonderful activities and food and staff. My sister and I are very fortunate. We also have a cousin that is a born caregiver and will take my Mother to all her doctor appointments, out to lunch and shopping and she lives in the same city.

As my Mother is approaching her 90^th birthday she has become extremely forgetful. Dementia or Alzheimer, whatever it is, it is moving fast. She is a very social person, with a great vocabulary so she covers her state of mind well in her charming pleasant conversations. To those of us in the family we clearly see her rapid decline. Talking on the phone is becoming a challenge. She says we are speaking too fast and not enunciating our words! My family is adjusting to Mother’s decline with love and humor.

What experiences have you had with an elderly parent? What plans have you made or have your parents made for their elderly care?

Live and Let Die

The Death with Dignity Act in Oregon has been in effect since 1998. It is widely recognized as “A safe, compassionate law providing comfort and peace of mind to terminally ill adults.”

In 2008, 88 people received the ‘ODWDA’ prescription and 60 people died under the terms of the act. The typical participant according to ODWDA was 72, college educated, suffering from cancer, and stating their main reason for using the prescription was the loss of quality of life. 401 people have participated in this end of life option in Oregon in the last 11 years.

401 seems low to me. Dying from a disease can mean a loss of dignity, loss of autonomy, loss of those things enjoyed and is usually painful. Dying can mean much pain and suffering for the person. The living will grieve but their hurt is not painful suffering.

Many people are in denial regarding their death. Many don’t have a will never mind a health directive. This summer I had 3 friends fathers die.
Two had been ill and knew they were dying but only one had a health directive. One was interested in the Death with Dignity Act but never made arrangements himself. As part of the law the patient must request the prescription on his or her own behalf. The rub here is that the prescription most often used is in pill form and some dying patients can no longer swallow by the time they reconcile using the medication.

Of course no one wants to go against religious beliefs on the end of life question or the patient’s wishes. The fact remains that those same wishes have to be made clear to some one. I think a paid by Medicare end of life discussion for seniors is a good idea.

My Dad said he wanted to die while playing golf. He didn’t, but just 9 days before he died at 86 he was on the golf course. It would be great if you are seriously or terminally ill and you just woke up dead. Unfortunately that doesn’t happen often so health directives, wills, and death with dignity laws are needed.
http://egov.oregon.gov/DHS/ph/pas/index.shtml