3 Reasons why I will not accept the position of US Ambassador to Cuba

Even though some politicians are trash talking the idea to establish a US Embassy with a US Ambassador to Cuba, it will happen.  I predict it will occur before the next President is elected. I totally endorse this action but I don’t want to be the Ambassador and here are the reasons:

1. My Spanish stinks. 

I have a fair knowledge of basic restaurant Spanish supplemented with Spanish street names. The US ambassador I think should be more fluent in Spanish than being able to order food or find a street address.

2. I do not have a poker face. 
My diplomacy would certainly be compromised with my facial expressions. I hate to admit it but I sometimes raise an eyebrow when presented with a WTF situation. The US ambassador needs to have an experienced placid demeanor.

3. I don’t have political experience.
The US Ambassador needs more skills than voting and supporting causes. He or She needs some political expertise. 

So who would be on my short list?

1. Maria Shriver (A bit of historical irony)
2. Tammy Baldwin (Already a historical presence)
3. Julián Castro (The brothers are Fluent in Spanish)
4. Joaquín Castro (Ditto)
5. Mazie Hirono (Who better to understand living on an island)

Some of my candidates may not want to leave their current jobs but they may or may not be re-elected. They may be not fluent in Spanish, but these are smart people and they can learn!

So I will have to just visit Cuba as a tourist some day rather than in an official capacity. I email the President before the State of the Union Address every year. This year it is January 20, 2015. I will be emailing the administration my recommendations. Who would you recommend I add to my list before I hit send?