Breast Cancer is a diagnosis that is shocking to the woman who hears it. Since symptoms are more or less a lump, the prognosis of having a life threatening disease while feeling just fine is hard to grasp. When I went thorough my breast cancer treatments, it was the five months of chemotherapy that were the most difficult for me to get through. I had a very supportive husband, a wonderful sister 20 minutes away, and friends. What an eye opening experience for me to see which friends and family were willing to rally for me with their time and support.
I had friends and family members who called often. They didn’t give up on me.
I had friends who dropped over food, plants, and flowers.
I had friends and family who sent cards, books, bath goodies, jewelry.
They understood cancer. They understood support.
Co-workers were kind and understanding. They saw me lose my hair. They saw me go into body sweats with my drawn on eyebrows sliding down my cheeks. They saw my energy levels diminish. They saw cancer first hand and when some one they care about goes through it they will be familiar and I hope maybe less scared.
Then there are the friends and family who don’t get it. They are the ones who are scared. Even if you reassure them cancer is not contagious, they are not willing to accept it. They are the ones that are so caught up in their own lives; there is no room, or time for some one they know with cancer. I have to admit it was difficult at times. Friends for over 20 years turned out to be fair weather friends. Some of my husband’s family knew me for 25 years. Well needless to say, but I will say it, I weeded out some of these so called friends. I also limit contact with the in-law relatives as much as possible.
I have seen cancer break up marriages, and strain relationships with children. Most hospitals have support groups for cancer patients. Many have support groups for families and kids. If the hospital doesn’t have these groups they may be able to recommend therapists that specialize in cancer related issues. Cancer is tough enough, family and friends should not make it worse, but if they do I suggest divorcing them either temporarily or permanently. What we all learn from breast cancer is that it can happen any time to any one. The support that family and friends give is like a pillow of love. It is a bond that can be stronger than blood lines and years of friendship. After my treatments 3 of my friends were also diagnosed with cancer. All 3 were part of my support team, and I was honored, but saddened to so quickly be able to reciprocate.
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