Who wants to be around someone who is mean? Who wants to be around someone who is passive aggressive? No one of course but it happens in the workplace, in the neighborhood and in the family.
Here are some examples:
“Those shoes look terrible!"
“How much did you spend on those hideous shoes?”
“Those shoes may be in style but they are ugly!”
“ You know there are people around the world who don’t
even own one pair of shoes.”
“My Grandmother
wore those same shoes.”
“ Shoes look great on me with my slim, long, athletic
legs.”
I would prefer the upfront
honesty or rudeness and even meanness than passive aggressive behavior.
In my experiences I find the
mean person is just mean while the passive aggressive person is manipulative
and deceptive. With mean people you can give it back to them or even reason
with them. The passive aggressive person will often act out, cry or solicit
allies to their side.
How about you? Who would you
rather tolerate, the mean or passive aggressive person?
19 comments:
I don't tolerate either any more. Life is just too short. If someone doesn't come from kindness at their core, well, we have nothing in common.
I agree Carol. Unfortunately these people show up in families and the work place and you are forced into dealing with them!
I don't like mean or passive agressive. I might have a different definition of mean. Mean is spiteful and vindictive and intent to hurt someone.
I'm good with uncouth, tactless, fiterless, or abrupt. I can even live with clueless.
Meanies: get behind me.
Good definition of meanness, thanks Adela and I agree!
Often these kind of comments come not from meanness but from stupidity. Just my opinion.
Thanks Sharon. Thinking they are just stupid comments actually is a nicer because stupidity happens and not much can be done about that!
My best friend of over 30 years was passive aggressive and it was awful. I finally gave up, and as of 2 years ago we aren't friends anymore. Sad, but I just couldn't take her behavior anymore!
That is sad Lana. You may not have even realized it the first 10-20 years. I know that sounds funny but I think until we come to a certain age do we discern qualities of our friendships and then like you have to step away from some.
I tend to believe that both types of comments are coming from people with the same problem--lack of self esteem and a desire to take it out on everyone else. I try to stay away from such people and when I can't I just ignore them.
Thanks Kathy. Good Advice!
I try to remove as many toxic people from my life, so I wouldn't tolerate either! Life is too short. Cut the cord now!
If I can't stay away from them than I just ignore them.
Cathy I agree, life is short.
Rena, ignoring is always a way to cope too.
I used to be charitable about both types. Now, I have learned to stand up for myself and either tell them what I think or move away!
Corinne, I like it, step away from the uncharitable person!
I avoid both. There is enough conflict in life without looking for more. Unfortunately, as our families have married and enlarged, we have acquired several passive-aggressive people. Sigh.
Diane, exactly! Sometimes you can not avoid them.
You know, I am not up for either one of these. Just leave me and my shoes alone. We are doing just fine thank you.
Thankfully, my family never even notices my shoes! Yay!
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