Not all Americans are Stupid You Idiot!

I was in a US airport recently. It was the Boston airport and my flight home to the West coast had been delayed. I took the opportunity to eat one more lobster roll and relax before the 6 hour flight home. If you are not familiar with a lobster roll it is lobster meat with maybe some mayonnaise on a hot dog bun. It is fantastic. I grew up in the Boston area and eat lobster as much as possible when I am back visiting. During the summer in Maine and Massachusetts, McDonalds will even have lobster rolls on their menus.

I was in one last lobster bliss stupor, watching baseball on the bar TV, enjoying myself completely when a woman next to me interrupted my reverie. She did not have an American accent and was holding out American coins wanting to know their values. Being a polite person, I engaged her in conversation about where she was from. She told me but with an attitude that I should know just from her accent. She then proceeded to go into a tirade about how stupid American coins are in relation to their size and denominations.

Again, let me state, I was having a pleasant time. How often does that happen when you are delayed in an airport? So I listened to her and told her she was over-thinking the whole money thing. I took her bill and looked at the money she had laid out and told her it was not enough. She was leaving all her change for a tip, amounting to about 5%. She went on about how Americans are so stupid because a nickel is bigger than a dime but is worth less and all the bills are the same size. Yeah, I had enough of her and wanted to get back to the baseball game and savor my lobster roll, but she wouldn’t stop harping.

I sized her up as not a fan of Americans. She was haughty, belligerent and from her tab, cheap. So what could I do? I told her to put down all her change and take another bill that had a big ‘5’ on it and put it on the counter. She asked if wasn’t that too much? I assured her it wasn’t and she did what I asked. I waited for the waitress to come over and collect the bill. She was still talking and going on and on so I had to tell her to take her skinny boney ass back to her country and get the hell away from me. I am patriotic after all. Rude is rude, what else could I do?? What would you do?