Many people want to help out when a friend is diagnosed with breast cancer or any cancer. The initial response of flowers, plants and cards is fine but the following is a list of other ideas:Chemotherapy can last 3-5 hours. Some people sleep, others need distraction. Eating and drinking is totally acceptable. Ask to accompany the friend to chemotherapy if you are a positive upbeat, but not a Polly-Anna person.
Check with the person about tastes. Often a metal taste happens with Chemo, or some people crave sour or sweet, only cold or only hot beverages. Even if your friend does not want you to come to chemo with them, you can buy or make them some chemo essentials:
Small Thermos for coffee or hot/cold beverage
Small fleece blanket
Portable Scrabble
Check-out line magazines
Nuts, and nut mixes
Hard candy
Chocolates
Ice Cream
DVDS for a portable DVD player
Playing cards
Lap table
CD of music they like
Pill bottle labels
Cozy socks
Fleece hat
Neck pillow
Mittens or gloves
Cloth napkins
Have Lunch delivered
Bring in Coffee and pastries
Bring dinner for the family on chemo night. Leave it at their home in a cooler
Follow up with a phone call or an email
Some Don’ts:
Take pictures unless requested
Insist you accompany them
Expect them to be truly interested in your problems
Lavish them with lotions, oils and bath products
Continually ask what you can do for them and do nothing when the person doesn’t come up with an answer
Tell stories about other cancer patients who bounced back in ‘No Time’
Try to convert them to your religion or spiritual persuasion
Leave half way through the infusion
Exclude them while talking with other patients or people or on your phone
Make them stay awake if they want to sleep
Make them drive and pick you up for the chemo appointment
Ask only about how their spouse or kids are handling it and not them
The chemo experience is a tough time and friends can be very helpful. The above are ideas to become the helpful friend.
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